I watched as the both of you struggledTo sit on the chair I take for granted;
To put the spoon into your mouth to
Feed on the food with less salt less sugar less oil.
You struggled to put on your little shirts;
To put a shoe into the correct foot.
Your eyes huge as I counted how many times you blink
Because in your innocence you do not.
And most of all,
I watch as you desperately try to say words I choose not to say
Anymore.
Iman & Imran,
I took you to see your Great-Grandfather just the other day.
NYANG SIHES.
Wasting away in a bed-confining stroke.
How like you he is...
As I watched him struggle to sit on his chair with wheels,
To put the spoon into his mouth to
Feed on his food with little sugar little salt little oil...
He could not put on his own shirt,
He could not put on his own shoes,
His eyes small with aged wisdom and teary because
He can no longer say the words he wanted to say
To you -
His Great Grandsons Umar Iman and Umar Imran.
And I say Subhanallah...Praise be to Allah..
How very alike the three of you are:
Two boys at age two, eager and waiting,
The man at age eighty, tired,
and also waiting..
for the Circle of Life to come around.
Excellent piece of poem, sis. I enjoyed reading it tremendously as it arose from your keen observation. Although I am not there to see for myself, from this poem, I now realise what's going on there.
ReplyDeleteAnother house without a soul as I walked into its silence; inhabited by Tok Mak who's getting rather senile and Tok Bak who's become bed-ridden and chose to remain in the dark room. Pitiful because they have 10 children (now 1 deceased) to start with and yet none to stay with them in times of need.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this one on Tok Bak, Ma. I was just looking at the picture of me sitting on his lap "smoking" his fountain pen on my 1st birthday yesterday. And then I remembered how he would pick me up and put me into the basket on his motorcycle when he picked me up from kindergarten. He never minded me tagging along while he collected the coconuts (he pushed the wagon and i picked up the coconuts), peeled off the husks, fed his chickens, and chased Tok Mak's cats with penyapu lidi. He never allowed me to follow him into the "big jungle" in front of the house where Cik Li's house is now, though, because "ada harimau". So that's when I would go back inside and raid Cik Kamal's CD collection (and discovered Metallica!!) while waiting for Tok Bak to finish up with his business with the tiger. I would rejoin him at tea time where he would push a cup of hot black coffee my way. Who else would let a four year old drink black coffee??? At that period of my life Tok Bak was stronger than Hercules. Oh, and of course, when he visited us in UK! He walked me to school, I asked him if he knew the way back (sheesh..), he smoked half a cigarette at a time cuz they were expensive there, and he cleaned his ear with Adam's rubber arrow haha! Fond memories.. so long ago.
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess now I finally know where I got my coffee addiction from....
Iman/Imran, you are very lucky to have Nyang Sihes, though he can only look without uttering any words. But deep in his heart, he loves you both with all his heart. I'm very sure your Tok Rashid must be very happy to have you around and are very proud of you both. Nenek, such a beautiful poem, love reading it.
ReplyDeleteFierce old man now motionless on his bed. He still has a sharp mind but can't utter his words so can you imagine how frustrating tht is? In fact he remembers things that Tok Mak cannot and so still bickers with her! And you're right again, Lady Sam...Atuk is overly proud of the babies. One day we had lunch at Persada and there was a group of men at the next table (he knew them). He carried both boys and declared "Cucu aku...cucu pertama dah dapat kembar.." and they so politely oohed and aahed..and went back to their food!
ReplyDelete